


Angel in a Free Company

by MatchstickDhole



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Crack, Eternal Bonding, FFXIV Spoilers, Final Fantasy XIV - Freeform, Humor, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Mutual Pining, a cottage in lavender beds, lots of mmo lingo, video games - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-14
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-01-30 10:01:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21426382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MatchstickDhole/pseuds/MatchstickDhole
Summary: While rummaging around in Aziraphale's bookshop one day, Crowley comes upon a video game case and discovers a new side to Aziraphale.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 40





	1. Chapter 1

It was tucked away on the desk, behind a stack of books, some bills, a letter from Queen Victoria about how rudely she was kicked out of Aziraphale’s shop and a letter from her grandson about how they had a lovely time at a discreet Gentlemen's club. It was what appeared to be a DVD case.

This was odd for many reasons, one because Aziraphale did not own a TV, two because it had obviously been open and the disk inside was nice and loose which showed it had been pulled out and three he had never heard of Final Fantasy XIV: SHADOWBRINGERS.

Closer inspection then discovered it was a video game, to be more precise an MMORPG. Crowley knew of those, he, in fact, helped invent the idea of them. Now, why would Aziraphale have one? Did someone leave the case in the shop and Aziraphale set it aside just in case the owner returned for it?

But then it would be in the lost and found box under the register, not hidden behind letters from dead royalty. He then looked at the ancient computer Aziraphale had and wondered for a moment- could he?

No.

But the idea was now in the demon’s brain as he sauntered over to the computer and turned it on. Despite its appearance, it booted up quickly and had a modern OS. Because of course, Aziraphale would think once he bought a computer it would stay with the times forever.

The wallpaper was of a group of characters on a blue and gold platform with a bright heavenly light behind them. A wide smile danced across his face as he glued two and two together. Aziraphale played an MMO. 

Stuck in the 19th century, calling Velvet Underground ‘bebop’, kindle-hating, cellphone-untrusting because there were no wires attached to anything Aziraphale played an MMO. 

Every choice in Crowley’s life had led up to this moment and it was all worth it, if he had known over six thousand years ago that falling would somehow influence a stuffy, fussy, almost technophobic angel to play an MMO and liked it, he would have made it less of a freestyle dive and more of a reverse 4.5 somersault off the cloud and into the boiling pit of sulfur

He looked at the screen trying to figure out which of the characters was Aziraphale. Bunnygirl with a huge sword? Lionman with a staff? Then he noticed it, white-haired with cat-ears, with a halo floating above his head and holding a book near the center and dressed in pale blues and whites.

Crowley would like to thank both God and Satan for this moment. 

He took in the sight for a few more moments before cramming the case back where it was and shutting down the computer. 

He then threw himself back onto the chaise lounge and started to think about how he could bring this up to Aziraphale. 

He wondered if it was only this one or if there were others, did he play other computer games? Did he have a Switch tucked away in a bedside table with a stack of games? How did he get into them? How did he discover them? Did Aziraphale have a mic and let out divine fury at people who didn’t follow mechanics? Hell, was the Angel the one who didn’t follow mechanics?

He thought back to the wallpaper, it was group shot.

Which meant Aziraphale had friends in this game.

The itchy part of Crowley’s brain was activated, he needed to find out more. He needed to discover this hidden part of Aziraphale that he would have never dreamed was a thing. 

The Angel entered the shop. Crowley looked up. 

“Did any customers come in while I was gone?”

“Nope,” Crowley said, his mind still reeling. His thoughts on that wallpaper. Still, why did they take that screenshot? It must have been a big thing to take a picture of it. He tapped at the back of the lounge a little, legs spread out. 

“Well, that’s good,” Aziraphale said easily, flipping the sign to closed because he figured e wanted to look at the word OPEN for the rest of the day and the rest of the world can bask in the CLOSED. “I have a busy night planned.”

Was it reading? Was Aziraphale going to turn on the computer and play this game? Was he going to do his taxes?

“Me too, Angel.” Crowley said, “I got a plan to really generate some low-grade evil tonight, so it is good you won’t be able to thwart it.”

He knew what he was going to do.

“I thought we agreed that taking food from the freezer section of the store and putting it in the warm sections was off-limits.”

He was going to get the Angel to confess to this game.  
“I’m going to take down a video game for a night.”

Aziraphale’s expression was calm and schooled. “Well, I guess that means people will spend more time with their families. So it would be a good thing.”

“Yeah, I heard about one called Final Fantasy or other and figured it would need to go down. A DDoS will be plenty easy.”

Crowley saw the flicker in Aziraphale’s eyes, like a flash of lighting, like when it seemed like a customer might actually succeed in buying a book. Like when that goose tried to steal a sandwich from him. 

“I read they have dealt with plenty of those, it might just make people think it is from another company. Perhaps another one, I heard there is one that belongs to a company that has been censoring people.”

“Nope, I think this one will be the winner.”

“Perhaps do it tomorrow.” Aziraphale walked to the kitchenette to make himself some tea. “Then they will go to bed early perhaps and be bright-eyed for school.”

So, Aziraphale was going to do something in the game tonight.

“Or, I could just go into the game and start bothering people in it. Get their accounts banned.”

“I am sure people will pick up on a new player causing trouble,” Aziraphale said easily from the kitchen.

“Not really, people in these games can be pretty dumb. Go in, ask how you mine for fish, stuff like that.”

“You might get invited to the novice network for that.” Aziraphale realized he let that slip, that he knew something about the game. Crowley could not see the angel’s eyes widen, but he could taste the sudden shock in the air. “I am sure they have one of those in the game.” He added on quickly, hoping to cover the slip.

“Oh, you know something about this game?” The Demon drawled out. 

“Well, I heard the story was good,” Aziraphale admitted. “And sometimes it is nice to meet people who won’t notice you don’t age.”

“So you do play it.”

“...Yes. In passing.”

“Angel, you don’t do anything just in passing. Well, show it to me.” 

Aziraphale sighed, realizing this was not worth arguing as he came out of the kitchenette and headed to where his computer was. Crowley climbed over the back of the lounge and followed Aziraphale as the Angel sat down at his computer and turned it on.

Crowley looked at the wallpaper again. “What's this?”

“Oh this, this was after we beat Innocence Extreme for the first time.” There was a hint of pride in his voice. Crowley took note.

“Are you that one?” he pointed to the cat-eared man with the book.

“How did you know?”

“Because it is a guy with a halo and a book! Also, he is in your color scheme.”

Aziraphale pursed his lips together as he clicked on an icon that simply read FFXIV and quickly logged in. In theory, Aziraphale’s computer should have exploded as soon as the game loaded, but it knew better. He saw the cat person on a background of blue.

Then Aziraphale clicked on it and soon the game was really going. There were buttons everywhere it seemed, and the cat person was outside of a house by a giant bird of sorts. Crowley took a moment to appreciate what he saw in front of him, the music was soft and he read the name above the character.

The Hand of Mercy  
Ezra Fell 

Then he saw in the lower left hand of the screen some text.

Nyasha W: EZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZRA  
Sasha N: Isn’t it like- 2 PM there? Did you close down shop early again? How you going to pay your sub?

Aziraphale responded.

Ezra F: And it is 6 AM over there, Sasha, did you not sleep again? You should really sleep some more, it is bad for your health.  
Nyasha W: You literally never sleep you fuckkin hypocrate.  
Ezra F: *Hypocrite 

Crowley smiled as he saw more people jump in to talk to Aziraphale and rag on him a little for closing down his shop early and for never sleeping. 

Then he saw the next bit of conversation.

Ezra F: I’m showing a friend the game.  
Nyasha W: Is it THE friend? <3  
French F: Crooooooowley

Aziraphale quickly shrank the screen before he thought Crowley saw it. Aziraphale talked about him in the game? 

“So they are your friends?” Crowley asked after a second. 

“Yes, I send them Christmas cards. They are quite a lovely bunch.” Aziraphale kept his eyes on the corner of the screen until he decided to make it a normal-sized again. “I have been friends with them since the game was first introduced, we bonded over…issues the game had.”

French F: LETS SHOW FRIEND THINGS.

Then Crowley saw a small character appear on the screen (French Fries Of the Silver Fuller) and the character waved then hugged Aziraphale’s character. Then a window popped up about asking to join a party. Aziraphale accepted.

“French Fries is the Leader of the Free Company,” Aziraphale explained, happily. “She, in fact, introduced me to the game, we met on a book forum.”

Aziraphale visited book forums? What did they talk about? How did this game come up? Did Aziraphale talk about him there too?

Ezra F: Everyone, Crowley will be watching us. Please let’s be on our best behavior.  
Nyasha W: nope.  
French F: We’re going to do the Greg fights and some maps. 

“I hope you won’t be too bored, dear.” Aziraphale smiled to Crowley, who had now miracled a chair next to Aziraphale.

“Me? Bored? I am watching you play a video game, this is entertainment.” And it was, after 6,000 years he was still learning about Aziraphale. It was actually quite amazing. Something popped up on the screen and Aziraphale clicked on it, then Crowley looked at the characters on the screen- they were the ones on the wallpaper. 

“This is my ‘Raid Group’” Aziraphale said with a fond tone to his voice. “Sasha is in Seattle, Nyasha is in Mexico, French Fries is in France actually.” Friends from all around the world. 

French F: GET ON VOICE CHAT. 

“You do voice chat?” 

“Well, yes, I tend to do call-outs for everyone. But we know these so I didn’t think that it would be needed to log in.” he downsized the window and logged into another program. Aziraphale just always thought you talked to the computer to make yourself heard, and the computer accepted it. Like it accepted many odd things about its Owner.

“Hello everyone,” Aziraphale said with a smile. “Say Hi, dear.”

Crowley looked at Aziraphale, about to ask him where his microphone was and decided against it. 

“Hello?”

Then there was a flurry of talking as Aziraphale returned the screen back to its full size. 

“OK.” Said a woman with an American accent. “Our job here is to get Ezra’s friend to join Fourteen. So for once in your lives look cool.”

“Play like shit got it.” Said a man who sounded like he was from Austria. 

“Now, now-” Aziraphale started, “I am not going to force a game on Crowley.”

Crowley wasn’t going to get forced into, he was going to jump right into it. He was going to make a character and learn this new side to Aziraphale.


	2. Chapter 2

Crowley had miracled his laptop from his flat to the bookshop. It was a thin, sleek thing, something a human on top of the times would own. It was beautiful. He opened it up watching Aziraphale and his raid group fight a black thing in space as he went to the website and downloaded the trial. 

He had already made an account, and was now looking over the ‘jobs’ people could have.

“Angel? What's your job?”

“Part-time rare book dealer,” Aziraphale responded, not fully paying attention to his friend behind him and in a tone that suggested Crowley might be mildly stupid for asking that question.

“No, I meant in the game. What do you do?”

“Oh!” The blond said, realizing what Crowley meant. “I main Scholar, but if we need a DPS I do Dancer, although I used to be Summoner and if we need a Tank I do Paladin.”

Half of those words meant nothing to Crowley.

“So- what should I pick?” He questioned after a few moments.

“Go Black Mage!” The Austrian shouted from the computer, both Aziraphale and Crowley forgetting that the Computer was picking up on any talking as Aziraphale was still doing call-outs when needed. “You sit there and burn shit. Plus you don’t really have to worry about anyone else, just avoiding AOEs.”

“Go with a DPS.” The American woman said, “Just in general, until you can learn how things go, then you can learn healing and tanking.”

“DPS to center.” Aziraphale said to the group.

“I think Bard would be good.” said another American, “Free to move around so easier to avoid things, and again, less responsibility until you want more of it. You can change jobs later if it isn’t your cup of tea. You heard Ezra, he has his fingers in a little bit of everything.”

“I’m in the gaol.” The angel said calmly. “DPS means Damage per Second, you are the one hitting things to make it die, Healers heal, and Tanks keep the monster’s attention. Those two roles don’t focus as much on DPS but it is still needed. But because of the number of DPS in-game the wait times can be a little long.”

Crowley was glad that Aziraphale explained that to him now. He looked at the game still being installed on his laptop, he glared at it hoping it would speed up but the game knowing what Crowley had jokingly threatened to do earlier in the day decided to slow down a little more with the installation process. The game also knew that Crowley wanted in it so it had the upper hand, it feared neither Crowley or being uninstalled.

“Pull up some Youtube videos and see which one looks fun to start off on, whatever you pick we’ll help you.” Said what sounded like a teenaged boy by how his voice cracked a little. “FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK, Sorry Romaa.”

“No big.” said an older sounding woman. “While Crowley is installing, he should join the Discord.”

“Now, Romaa, we don’t know if he will even want to join the Free Company.”

“I am. Because then if anything goes wrong I can blame you.”

There was some laughter, “We are now going to blame you for everything, Ezra.” said the American woman.

“You can start doing call outs then, Dear.” Aziraphale leaned forward a little, tapping away at keys on his keyboard before reaching over to take a sip of his cocoa. 

“But it's nice to get to hear your voice. It’s relaxing. Video game ASMR.”

“French gets off on Ezra’s voice.” said the teenager.

“I thought French lived in France?” Crowley asked as he watched the game decide to be nice and speed up the download.

“She moved there a few years back.” Aziraphale said looking over his shoulder for a second, “Married a wonderful man who was in New York for business. She sent me that wonderful Côte-d'Auxerre when she moved out there for Christmas.”

“It’s pretty amazing how you can pronounce the food and drink of France but not the rest of it. And I know you can read it too.” French said before swearing, “I think he is going to Enrage.”

Crowley snorted, those of angelic stock naturally knew the languages of the world, but somewhere in Aziraphale the ability to speak French just did not happen. God looked at that Angel and went ‘You will be so English, the French language will refuse to spill from your lips.’

“We only need to get him down two more percent.” Said the Austrian. “Just focus everyone.”

Crowley watched as silence filled the air as it seemed like everyone was so intent on getting that last two percent so he wouldn’t ‘Enrage’. Crowley stood up from his laptop and headed over to Aziraphale’s desk to peer over his shoulder again. He looked at the Angel who was focused on the screen in front of him, it was an odd look on the other man-shaped being’s face, it was intense, unblinking, focused. His mouth was a tight line, Aziraphale looked to the top of the screen. 

“Romaa or Sabin, LB.” Aziraphale said about 10 seconds later. His voice was firm and a glowing blue dragon appeared on the screen, knocking the boss down the little bit needed so the Enrage would not happen. There was some sighs of relief before Crowley asked.

“What’s Enrage?”

“It’s pretty much where everyone dies if we don’t kill it fast enough.” The older woman called Romaa said. Crowley thought that was a little stupid. He watched as the camera circled around everyone’s characters and Aziraphale was pushing one button really fast. And the monster’s percentage bar seemed to fill right back up.

“Why make that happen?”

“To prevent people who are undergeared or not skilled enough to finish this fight,” Romaa said gently. “There is a story mode of this fight, where you don’t have to worry about it, but this one is harder for better equipment and rewards.”

“So, it’s not mandatory.” Crowley really didn’t want to get in a group of people and go kill things, he just wanted to do something new with Aziraphale. Made within the past 20 years new.

He watched as the characters on the screen moved around. He watched the top of the screen with the percentage going down.

“Not at all, in fact, some people just do the story and call it done until more story comes out.”

Which was what Crowley would have expected of Aziraphale. Why do this content? 

“Sess doesn’t even do that, he just logs in to craft and does story when he is bored.” The Austrian said. The HP was going down now even faster as silence rung heavy before some Fanfare blared.

“Trumpet dropped. Who gets it this time?” French asked as Aziraphale looked down at a notebook on the side table. 

“Sabin. Two more to go.” Crowley looked down at the notebook too, Aziraphale’s name was last on this list. “How’s the download, my dear?” Aziraphale then asked Crowley, who went back to the laptop to check on it. 

“Its almost done.”

“You and I are the last ones to need trumpets right?” French asked, “I am cool with ending early tonight so you can help get Crowley set up and we can invite him to the company when his character is made.”

“Or we can do maps while waiting unless he already made a character in the Benchmark?” Romaa suggested. 

“Oh, I forgot all about the Benchmark!” Aziraphale exclaimed. “He could have done that instead of staring at a download screen.”

“Will his laptop be able to handle it?”

“We always do maps! No one is ever going to get that title.”

“Yes,” Crowley said easily if Aziraphale could believe his ancient computer could run this game, his brand new laptop could handle it. He glared at it threatening it.

“I’m going to log out of voice if you need me, just message me.” Aziraphale moved from his computer to sit down next to Crowley, their hips touching as the Demon went to the screen to start the game. 

“Now you can make your character.” Crowley looked at the list of races. Giant guys, Lionguys, really tiny guys- “Hey that's what French is.” the cat-eared guys- “And what you are.” Normal looking guys- which made Crowley wonder if you were going to play a fantasy game why pretend to be a normal human? But then again, he and Aziraphale did that every day. They were human LARPers. Then there were some elf looking guys and lizard guys with horns.

He flipped between the two, trying to figure out which one he wanted to make. “What do you suggest?” he looked at Aziraphale who looked at the screen.

“Well, the Au Ra have a weird stop at the end of their run cycle, but I like their expressions. The Elezen are a classic but they also make me think of Giraffes.” he thought a bit longer, “You can pick one out now, and if you don’t like it once you finish a part of the game, you get an item to let you change what you look like. And if you still don’t like it, you have to use actual money to change your character’s appearance. Well, you can change the hair and makeup at level 15.”

Crowley bounced between the two before just picking one. An elf.

He carefully started to pick things out, the height, face, jaw, eyes, ears...Like how Aziraphale chose the white for his cat-person (Miqo’te, as Aziraphale had corrected him) he chose red for his elf (Elezen, dear), gold eyes, great cheekbones. His elf was looking great.

And Aziraphale had sat squished up next to him the entire time helping him choose things. Commenting on voices, how picking one of the Twelve didn’t affect your stats anymore, namedays are just for flavor (he picked the equivalent to October 21st, naturally.) 

Finally his class.

“Which one did you pick for your starting class?” 

“Gladiator. Primarily because I wanted to use a sword. They didn’t have Arcanist back then.”

He remembered the suggestion of black mage or bard, but he didn’t see those listed. He read the descriptions for each class and would occasionally glance over at Aziraphale to see if he would give a visual clue what would be best. But instead he sat neatly by, waiting for Crowley to choose.

The Demon then decided if he was going to be an elf, he would be Legolas and just use a bow and clicked on Archer. 

“Have you thought of a character name?” Aziraphale asked and Crowley shrugged. 

“Just going to use my name, I mean I like it and you use your main alias.”

“Well, yes, but I am not creative when it comes to names.” And he was glad Crowley still thought the A in A.Z. Fell stood for Aziraphale.

Crowley typed in Crowley for the character’s first name. Then thought for half a second and added in Serpentine. Then gave Aziraphale a cheeky smile as he clicked on accept, saw the name hadn’t been taken saw he now had to pick a world.

“That one.” Aziraphale pointed to one down the middle of the list, someone might have used a miracle to allow this one character to be created and put on the server. “You will get to watch an opening movie and it will tell you how to play the game.” A beat, “Although I would suggest switching to another audio language for the game for a while, the English voice acting can be a bit...rough. I’ll meet you in Gridania.”

\--

He didn’t want Aziraphale to hold his hand, but at the same time, it was nice to look at his screen and see his elf shooting plants with a bow and nearby there was a white-haired avatar that he knew belonged to Aziraphale. He ran around the Angel’s avatar on the computer in a circle.

“So, I notice everyone looks halfway put together and I look like a hot mess,” Crowley said, turning his head to look at Aziraphale. “Why is that?”  
“Oh, because you can’t glamour yet. When you hit level 15 and go to another country they will show you how to change what your character’s outfit looks like. Do you happen to see any clothing items you like?” 

Well, he had seen a lot of interesting costume choices, from ones that looked like they fit the character to one person who appeared naked. 

“Sunglasses.” he said.

“There are a lot of those in-game, you will have to be more specific if you want me to get them for you.”

Crowley looked at the bottom of the screen where he saw the free company chat going on.

French Fries: Its going to be fetch quests for a bit, then you will actually start getting into the meat of things. Gotta teach you how to play the game and all.  
Nyasha Wyasha: GATHER 200 CHICKEN HEARTS SO I CAN HAVE BREAKFAST.  
Nyasha Wyasha: Kill 4 mushrooms because fuck mushrooms.  
Nyasha Wyasha: Sniff Kan-E-Senna’s hair for mystical properties.   
Romaa Mihgo: Delivery Boy of Light

“It can be a bit tedious, admittedly, but it has better than what it used to be,” Aziraphale said trying to counteract Nyasha’s attitude about starting the game. Crowley watched as ‘Ezra’ healed him from some damage the plant did to him. This was pretty mindless, maybe that was part of the reason Aziraphale liked this, a time to not think, just click buttons and get results. 

“Everyone has a title.” Crowley noticed looking at a few more characters running by. “How do you get those?” He remembered Aziraphale’s ‘The Hand of Mercy’ it suited him, he was a healer after all. Probably had to heal a lot of people to get it. Crowley wanted a title in-game, something to show off- after all he couldn’t use ‘The Serpent of Eden, the Original Tempter’ in everyday conversation.

“Oh, by achievements in-game, for example, that Viera over there by the tree gathering.” Crowley assumed that was the Bunnygirl, “She got hers from doing a lot of levequests. And French got hers from Storyline things. You will get one soon and I will show you how to put it on.”

Crowley then typed into the Free Company chat.

Crowley Serpentine: What your favorite titles?

A second then came some responses.

Nyasha Wyasha: Of The Sunless Sea, although I used The Dragonsong for a while.  
French Fries: Of the Silver Fuller, but sometimes I go back to The Final Witness. Coil was great.  
Romaa Mihgo: Gentlewoman, because Hildibrand is a prince.  
Ezra Fell: It always makes me happy to see ‘The Heart of the Party’. I think it is a sweet title.

“But there is no need to rush to get any titles.” the angel said from his spot, “They just will come to you. In all sorts of ways.”

It felt nice and _very_ odd for Aziraphale to be explaining something modern to him. 

“So, uh, how much time do you spend on the game?” 

“It really depends actually!” Aziraphale chirped, “Some nights I don’t even get on, while other nights I just can’t get into a book and just log in to watch people roleplay.”

Crowley wondered who he should thank for that tidbit. Crowley knew sometimes Aziraphale would need a break from a book, perhaps it got to an overly emotional part and he was feeling too strongly for a fictional character and needed to pull away to collect his thoughts, he never imagined Aziraphale doing that by watching people pretend in a video-

No, the Angel loved watching plays and musicals, of course, he would watch people roleplay. He could imagine Aziraphale sitting at his computer, eating some biscuits and wondering what was going to happen next, perhaps mentally cheering on the players in the game as they create their own storylines. 

Then he had to pounce on it.

“Have you ever roleplayed?”

“Oh, Heavens no. Although, I did accidentally end up in a scene one time because I didn’t know the characters were roleplaying and I thought something bad was happening.” Crowley snorted. 

“I also, sometimes, padded my good deeds with things I did in-game,” Aziraphale mumbled. Was that Aziraphale’s gluing coins to the sidewalk? Do something in-game and passed it off as doing something good. “Like it is helping spread goodwill if I raise people in-game so they can keep on participating in a FATE. Gabriel said it was a good way to reach the recluses and isolated on a level they would appreciate.”

Oh Somebody- it was his gluing coins to the sidewalk. Crowley buried his mouth in his hand

“Besides, some days it’s just so dreary out and I had no assignments, but I wanted to do something. So, log in, maybe use a few minor miracles when people say they pray to God for a mount to drop. Especially if they have been at it for a while, God helps those who get off their knees and all.” 

Crowley was about to choke from holding back the laughter. He looked up at the ceiling.

“I mean, I never used it for myself because that would be unsporting, but people work really hard and RNG can be a bit cruel. Let them know God listens. And God must have let me find that farm party with a spot still open. I would never roll on it, and I would give it a reasonable amount of time before letting the mount or item appear. And a lot of the time it drops without me doing anything, but it increases the chance of someone getting it if there is one less person rolling on it.”

He was just going to let Aziraphale keep on talking, because this was gold.

“I don’t miracle gil, I earn it in game the proper way because I am sure the company keeps track of lots of gil moving around, but if I see someone wants to buy something in-game, and I happen to see a group trying to raise gil to get a house for their Free Company, I give them the gil they need and tell them who to go to. That way many people have something good happen to them at once.”

He wasn’t going to tell Crowley about the times a few people messaged him suspecting he was a bot, and he simply told them he was just a powerful insomniac and was just crafting and gathering until he could feel the urge to sleep. He also wrote that off as a good deed because after telling them that he could mark off ‘promoting care for fellow man.’

“You can buy houses in game?”

“Ah yes, I have been waiting to get one of my own, but because of how the housing system is, I never am able to get one. I want a cottage in the Lavender Beds. But until then, I have my room at the Free Company house. I am sure soon they will make it easy for people to get housing.”

So, he now wanted a title. And he wanted to help Aziraphale get that cottage.


	3. Chapter 3

Aziraphale had logged off the game and was now sitting near Crowley reading, it was a new book, bought only a few days ago but he had yet to really get into it. The Angel was partway through it though as Crowley trudged through the starting quests, kill things, return to a spot, talk to people, go back and kill more things. Occasionally Aziraphale would look up from his book and see Crowley pushing buttons.

Clack, clack, clack.

Crowley didn’t think he would spend his retirement playing video games, he imagined it would be drinking, duck feeding and yelling at his plants. The demon killed another squirrely looking thing and rant into a small settlement in the game where he suddenly heard a _ping_ and saw pink text in his chat window.

French Fries: How you liking it so far?

Aziraphale heard the ping, “If whoever messaged you is telling you to buy gil, report them.”

“No. It’s French. She is asking how I like the game.” 

Crowley clicked around before figuring out how to respond to the woman. He wasn’t going to tell a complete stranger that he felt a little bit stupid, that he was supposed to be the technology-savvy one between him and Aziraphale, that in some of his wildest fantasies he imagined introducing Aziraphale to something silly and pointless and technological and the Angel would be delighted and come to him for help. 

Crowley Serpentine: I’m liking it. Never knew Ezra played the game. 

Crowley was still surprised, to be honest, he looked over and saw Aziraphale turn a page in his book, eyes widening at whatever was happening in it. 

French Fries: ikr? He took to it like a duck to NASCAR but became really good at it. He almost quit like 90 times in 1.0 but we kept him going for the story.

He could imagine that Aziraphale sitting at the computer, sulking over something, ready to quit because it wasn’t working out. Just go back to his stack of books and go over the familiar prophecies like a comfort item. 

Then he got the itch to stir a little trouble. Do some friendly teasing.

Crowley Serpentine: He’s pretty bad with new things, doesn’t even own a cellphone and his computer is like 29 years old. 

French Fries: lol I had to bribe him to keep him in the game. Sent him some books that I thought would tickle his fancy. 

He wondered what books those were. What books among the stacks were worth him playing a game he was having trouble with, fighting technology each step of the way?

Crowley Serpentine: Why?

French Fries: Because I was lonely and he was the only person I talked to regularly on the forum. He was like ‘We could simply just keep up our methods of communication via the letter system. No need to worry about all this hubbub, why is it even called Final Fantasy if there are fourteen of them?’ 

French Fries: But I told him to stick through it, after all, you wouldn’t stop reading a book part ways through just because it got a little hard right. Sides there was something lonely about him. 

Of course, there was something lonely about Aziraphale, he was an immortal with only one other immortal friend. Angels used to be very social creatures before they became whatever the hell Heaven turned them into. Even on the wall, even in a crowd of people, Aziraphale tried to blend in with the humans but failed just slightly. 

French Fries: Well, he did talk about you though! All good things of course. We were like ‘Hey bring him into the game!’ and he would be like ‘No, dear, he is much too ‘cool’ for that.’ lol.

Crowley felt his heart beat a little faster, Aziraphale thought he was _cool_? Why did he use the four-letter word of ‘kind’ when he could have used THAT four-letter word. He looked at Aziraphale from the corner of his eye now, those useless little reading glasses perched on his nose, oblivious to the world around him. Aziraphale thought he was cool. He couldn’t imagine the word coming from Aziraphale’s mouth though.

Crowley Serpentine: I only found out because I found the game case and asked him about it.

Aziraphale thought he was cool. He should not be acting like a 15-year-old finding out his crush thought positive things about him besides general niceties. He hated to admit it to himself, but he was a being older than dirt- literally- with a crush.

French Fries: lol, glad you did. Always wanted to meet you. Come to the FC house.

Crowley was glad Aziraphale showed him how to teleport earlier as he went to the option for the free company house and clicked on it. He appeared outside a familiar looking house, the one Aziraphale first logged in in front of. It was a house by what looked like a giant pineapple. There was a view of the ocean and a few people in front of the house. He didn’t recognize many of them besides seeing their name in the company chat. French Fries’ avatar approached him. Crowley could now see she was wearing what looked like a maid outfit but had a large battle axe. The avatar made a cheerful noise and held her arms out wide.

The chat window said that ‘French Fries welcomes Crowley Serpentine’. Then a window popped up. A few items appeared in what looked like a trade box, a bottle of wine (99 of them according to the number in the corner), 99 sparklers, 100,000 gil, and some ‘shaded spectacles'.

How did they know he wanted those? He dragged some leaves from his inventory to what he suspected was his side of the trade box and clicked OK after he saw that French had. 

French Fries: To help get you started. Don’t equip the glasses until you can do glamours. 

French Fries: Look around the house its your home away from home.

That reminded Crowley.

Crowley Serpentine: How do you get a house in game? 

French Fries: Gil and Luck. 

Crowley Serpentine: How much gil? For a cottage.

French Fries: Done the housing quest? Its like 2-4mil. 

Crowley looked down at what he thought was a decent amount and was tempted to just miracle the amount higher, but then he remembered how Aziraphale was worried about it being ‘unsporting’.

Crowley Serpentine: Thats a lot.

French Fries: I am sure Ezra will bankroll you if you see one you want to get. He did that for the FC house, which is why we don’t have my McLordy retainer out in the front yard as part of the deal. 

“McLordy retainer?” Crowley repeated out loud, which seemed to get Aziraphale’s attention from the new book.

“She better not put that monstrosity out.” Aziraphale moved to look at Crowley’s computer screen, scanning for the clown. Crowley stared at Aziraphale’s profile.

“You like clowns though.”

“We’re in a free company called Burgerlord, almost all of our ranks are based off the menu, she even made the crest a loaf of bread in front of a heart.”

“You like bread.”

“Everyone likes bread. But the point still stands, a single request. I didn’t want the house to look tacky.” 

Crowley felt a smile form on his face as he got an idea as soon as Aziraphale sat down and put his nose back into the book.

Crowley Serpentine: He said that you couldn’t put YOUR Mclordy retainer out right?

French Fries: ye

Crowley Serpentine: Get someone else to put a McLordy retainer out. 

He had no idea what a Retainer’s purpose in the game was, but this was going to be fun. He could feel the cogs move in French’s head from across the channel. 

Then in free company chat.

French Fries: SOMEONE EZRA ISN’T ON. MAKE A MCLORDY RETAINER AND ILL LET YOU PUT IT IN THE YARD.

French Fries: I WILL BUY THE POT AND EVERYTHING FOR IT. HIDE IT IN THE SIDEYARD.

French Fries: AND GEAR. I WILL BUY THE GHEAR TOO. 

French Fries: *GEAR

Fearless Sheep: he is going to finally say a fuckword when he discovers it. So ya im working on it.

Fearless Sheep: but wasn’t there an agreement for no mclordy retainers?

French Fries: Crowley is a genius and pointed out that we agreed that I couldn’t put up the retainer. 

Crowley watched as French Fries ran away and he followed her and saw her standing at a board. Then he saw her dart back to a mailbox. He felt that satisfying feeling in the back of his skull of trouble being stirred. 

French Fries: Items sent, along with the dyes. No one tell him I want to see how long it is going to take him to notice our kiddie korner. 

Crowley then decided to go look inside the house, it was nicely decorated, had a basement with what looked like a meeting area, the uppermost level looked like a library. The middle looked like a restaurant of sorts. Crowley supposed that was to meet with the food theme that seemed to go on with the free company.

He headed to a door and saw ‘go to private chambers’. He guessed this was what Aziraphale was talking about when he said he had a room in the free company house as he scrolled through it. 

Room 3: Ezra Fell - E.Z. Fell and Co. 

He clicked on that one and went in, and saw that the room was the bookshop. Well, as close to the bookshop as possible with the space and items available There was even a little sitting spot with bottles of wine about it. He found it kind of funny, even in a fantasy world he still had the bookshop.

But then again, if he had a choice, he probably would have the Bentley in any world too. He left the room in-game and headed back out of the house. 

French Fries: COME LOOK AT CLOWN

His avatar ran around the yard before finding a small nook on the side of the house, and sure enough, there was what looked like an in-game version of McLordy. He clicked on it and it turned out to be selling things. 

It looked like a bunch of food and two tiny rats.

Fearless Sheep: all hail mclordy

“I’m feeling peckish,” Aziraphale said not looking up from his book. “Perhaps we should go see if anything is open.”

Crowley moved away from the corner of the yard just in case the Angel came over and saw the screen. He downsized the window also. When did it get dark out? He looked down at his watch and saw it wasn’t late, it was just dark.

“What are you in the mood for?” Crowley leaned back as Aziraphale pondered it. 

“Perhaps we can walk about and see if anything looks good.” He set his book to the side and headed to the bathroom to freshen up. “Don’t forget to log out.”  
\--

It wasn’t the Ritz they went to, it was a local chain restaurant that served pizza and plenty of alcohol.

“Sssso, what book did she send you?” Crowley questioned Aziraphale, who was finishing up his food. “She told me that to keep you in the game at the start she sent you some books. Were they like, super rare?”

Aziraphale dabbed at his lips with a napkin. “More controversial than rare, and first editions too. It seemed her father fancied himself to be a rebel but didn’t want to do any of the things being a rebel meant. So he built up a decent collection of books and then she sent them to me.” he took a sip of his wine. “She knew I collected books and figured sending me some would be a decent thing to do. I checked the prices of some of them online and when I told her what she parted with she was quite surprised.” he set the wineglass down. “I offered to send it back.” Even though he didn’t want to, “But she told me to keep it because she did give it to me as a bribe. So I decided to double down on my efforts in-game to make it worth it.”

“But do you actually have fun?”

“Yes, I do. It took me a while to get the hang of everything. But when they shut down the servers to make 2.0, they left it on a cliffhanger so I had to know what happened next. And it was a much better experience, so I kept going.”

Crowley leaned back in his chair a little. “Why did you never tell me? I mean- it’s great to know you have friends and hobbies besides reading dusty old books and collecting dust and glaring at people who think books in a bookshop should be sold.”

A little bit of red appeared along Aziraphale’s cheeks, as he mumbled something into his glass.

“What was that?” 

“I said, I thought you would think it was a terrible hobby.”

“Naw, your stage act, that’s terrible. I would rather you play the game then try and do the French Dip thing.” He knew it was French Drop, but he liked to see Aziraphale’s feathers ruffle. “Really, in fact, its neat that you do this.”

That seemed to shock Aziraphale a little.

“Neat?”

“Yeah, even borderline cool. I saw those commercials with that Spiderman kid after all.” He didn’t think too much on it then, but then he saw the ad on Youtube when looking up things for the game. 

Aziraphale smiled at Crowley, that smile he could just bask in. 

“Cool.” Aziraphale said with a little wiggle, looking quite pleased.

“Yeah, yeah- I am sure in no time we will be doing things together in the game too. Instead of you standing there and watching me kill mushrooms and groups of bees and stuff.” That only made Aziraphale’s smile larger. He wondered how long Aziraphale wanted him to play the game but never mentioned it. “You can do other things while I work my way up. The Maps or whatever.”

“Oh, it's quite alright. You’re a new player and I want to be there to help you with any questions you might have.”

“I can ask you in the group chat thing.” Now Crowley wanted to show he could be ‘cool’ in-game too. “What do you do?”

“Oh, a little bit of everything. I do want to make the most of it, lately, I have been trying to do Palace of the Dead to level 200 on my own, but I figure I can do that later on. I am on floor 150. I am absolutely dreadful at it” Well, he felt like he wasn’t making the progress he should be making on it. 

“How long should it take you to do? Maybe you can do that tonight while I do the boring stuff.”

“If I am lucky, 5 hours max.”

“Alright then,” Crowley said, standing up once he saw Aziraphale finish his food. “Let's go get some alcohol and do it.”

“I have plenty of wine in the shop.”

“We’re playing video games, not savoring wine. Don’t you know, that's what gamers do, they eat trashy food and drink soda.”

Aziraphale scowled a little, “They do not. Well, French does.” He remembered her bemoaning the lack of Burgerlord in France. “I have standards.”

“You’re the only one.”


	4. Chapter 4

They were completely and totally drunk. They had not touched the expensive wines Aziraphale kept in his bookshop’s basement, Crowley had won and there were bottles of beer on the table around the laptop and on the desk with Aziraphale’s poor computer. 

“T-The thing is-” Aziraphale started, “I like my computer. It fits my ae-aethes-it fits how I like everything to look.”

“You can get a new one, they make computers with big screens now, and pretty lights. We can find you one and everything will look so crisp and pretty. The game will look better wide-screened instead of in a square.”

“The game still looks pretty.”

“Think of it as artwork.” Crowley took a deep drink from the bottle he had. “You don’t look at a picture from 50 feet off and go ‘Yeah that's pretty’ you wanna get up close. The programmers are artists- you’re disrespecting them by not upgrading.”

Aziraphale had that look on his face, the one that showed that he was starting to yield to whatever Crowley was talking about. Bottle near his lips, eyes darting to the side.

“In fact, your computer shouldn’t even be able to think about running the game.” Aziraphale’s computer felt like it might receive death soon, it would welcome it happily. “How often do you back up that thing anyways?”

“Once a week, I don’t want to lose my taxes in case something happens.”

“Like your computer finally giving up the ghost.”

“Shhh, don’t give it any ideas.” Aziraphale scolded as he down another glug of beer. “Can you imagine the hassle of trying to plug in a new computer? I would have to go buy it and plug it in and reload my settings so I don’t have to adjust my rotations.” 

“Rotation?” Crowley questioned, wondering what in Satan’s name Aziraphale was talking about.

“How I do things in-game. For max heals and DPS and stuff.”

“Ah, I see.” Crowley did not see, but then again he only had five buttons to push. He had yet to finish the story quest at his levels, just as Aziraphale had yet to log in and get his Palace of the Dead run finished.

“People are very picky about it, they need the max DPS. At least for the raiders. So I went and learned all the jobs. Tooltips are very helpful you know.” Aziraphale pushed himself back into his chair a little more.  
“What should my rotation be then?” Crowley questioned as he opened up his laptop. Aziraphale shook his head as he moved to his computer and logged in. 

“Look at mine and use it on a training dummy.” Crowley frowned as he went over to Aziraphale’s computer- which was still praying for mercy. 

“But you’re a teacher.”

“Scholar. And that’s my main, but as raid leader, I feel like it is important to learn all the jobs, so people would know what to do for best results.”

Crowley felt like this was personal as he sat down in front of Aziraphale’s terribly old computer and started to move to character around on the screen. 

French F: EZRA. WHATCHU DOING?

Crowley looked at Aziraphale for a response.

“Just be honest, dear.”

Crowley typed in the box.

Ezra F: Angel is letting me see how the rotations are. 

French F: Angel? Is that what the A stands for? 

Crowley chose not to correct French Fries. He knew most people mistook him and Aziraphale for a couple when he said that, but it seemed French just assumed name. It was refreshing AND disappointing. 

“French now thinks the A stands for Angel. Angel Zira Fell. That’s a good name.” he said as he started to push buttons. “So many buttons.”

“Shadowbringers cut out a lot of skills for scholar, I will miss protect.” the Angel mourned. “And I guess that can be the A for now.” Aziraphale seemed to simply accept it, but it could be because he was also very drunk off of locally brewed alcohol. 

French F: That name suits him. Mans a literal angel i stg. 

That caused Crowley to bark out in laughter. “If only she knew.”

“Well, Sheep might say I am not,” Aziraphale said fondly. Crowley wondered why Sheep (he assumed it was Fearless Sheep) would think that Aziraphale was anything but. 

“Change to bard and you can play around there.” Crowley was glad Aziraphale logged out in front of the Free Company house as he ran to the training dummy.

“How do I change to Bard?” Crowley questioned Aziraphale as the angel just took control and went to his character screen and in a few clicks his outfit changed. It was still white, but instead of blues for the accent colors it had pale greens. There were also a lot of buttons. 

“This is level 80 Bard.” Aziraphale started, Crowley felt overwhelmed. Aziraphale placed his hands on top of Crowley’s own and started to push buttons. Crowley could feel his heartbeat in his ears, Aziraphale’s hands were so soft. They held hands on the bus and that almost disincorporated him, and it felt like this was going to do the same to him. “It is a very flexible class, more responsive to things happening without an exact one-two-three combo. But you do have to worry about weaving in skills and stuff.”

“And stuff.” Crowley repeated wondering what ‘and stuff’ meant. Aziraphale would have explained better but right now, he was comfortably wasted. 

“Bard is really fun though. Just got to keep an eye on your DoTs.” and Aziraphale started to talk about songs, dots, global cooldowns, and other such things. Crowley was just having fun pushing buttons. Crowley was saddened when Aziraphale lifted his hands off of his own. 

“So what all do you have leveled?” Crowley looked at Aziraphale.

“Oh, I have almost everything to 80, I admit I have been slacking because I never been too interested in Ninja, but I have to get it down just in case someone wants to know the ins and outs. I gotta know it if I want to be a good Mentor.” Well, no he didn’t, but he felt like he should, so he could help people where he could. 

Crowley looked down and saw more chat tabs.

“What are thessssse?” he clicked on some of them.

“Oh, linkshells I am in, the Novice Network. Things like that.” That explained why it seemed like Aziraphale was always talking to someone if he wasn’t busy in the game. Crowley opened another bottle of beer and started to drink it. He ran away from the training dummy and started to go through the menus, to see what was greyed out for him on his character accessible on Aziraphale’s character. He went to the ‘mounts’ tab and started to click at random.

A ball with colors swirling in opposite directions, a snake-like creature with wings, a giant cactus with balloons, a unicorn.

A unicorn. Crowley’s eyes widened as he made the mounted character move forward.  
“You got a unicorn.” 

“Oh yes, it was one of the first mounts I received,” Aziraphale said with a smile, remembering back when 2.0 was new. “Do you want one too, dear?” Aziraphale already knew the answer. 

“Yes, and the snake.” he started to go through others to see what else there were, a pegasus with armor on it, a fat grey bird, a sleek black car. “I want that one too.”

“You might not be able to do that one, maybe they will do another event where you can or they will make it where you can buy it. The other two I can help you get, the unicorn comes with a quest after you level conjurer to 30 and Alte Roite is a guaranteed drop from O4S.” Aziraphale wondered if Crowley would stick around in-game long enough to get it. “Once you reach that, we can help you get it.” He wondered if Crowley would need a carry or not. He was excited to see what sort of player the Demon would be. 

Crowley was now changing the jobs on the character on screen.

“You have a lot of different outfits.”

“Well, some people say glamour is the true endgame.”

“Your character is more fashionable than you are.” Crowley could feel Aziraphale scowling at him for that comment. “Look! This one is even wearing jeans- Jeans, Angel. I don’t think I could pay you to wear a pair of jeans.” Even though he did want to see Aziraphale in jeans- he knew the angel had tennis shoes he wore occasionally, he also saw some t-shirts tucked neatly into the closet when they had switched bodies and Crowley was looking around the bookshop. But he never saw the other wear those, perhaps those were another one of Adam’s additions along with the Just Williams and Biggles. He wondered if Aziraphale had even noticed those shirts yet. 

Not only did the Antichrist tell Aziraphale his reading materials were boring, but he also dressed boring. 

“This proves you have a sense of fashion in a modern era and you refuse to accept it!”

“I like my clothes, and tartan is nifty.” The Angel knew Crowley was going to voice an opinion on tartan and Aziraphale preemptively defended it. 

“I am still surprised you were able to dress your character up so nicely on this screen.”

“Oh get off it.” 

“Is that a dress?” Crowley questioned moving to the next class. ‘Ezra’ had a katana.

“It came from the new 24 man, Nyasha wanted us to all match and run it in that outfit.” Crowley zoomed the camera around the character. 

“I guess that’s why it is black also?”

“Unfortunately.” 

“I can vaguely see the details on it. Really, you’re doing the company a disservice. Besides, how did you even get a CD into this computer to install the game in the first place?”

“I used the hole right there.” Aziraphale pointed to the thin slit on the computer. It wasn’t big enough to accept a CD, but Aziraphale thought it would so it did. 

“That’s a floppy drive.” Aziraphale’s belief in his computer started to wane a little more. “It wasn’t made to read CDs.”

“Oh,” Aziraphale mumbled into his beer bottle. The Amstrad they were impossibly playing a brand new expansion pack on started to get warmer.

“And I remember when you got it, the screen was just black and green, when did colors happen?”

Aziraphale could not remember that he just knew one day it was running things in color. The screen flickered, suddenly everything was green and black and very pixelated.

“No, you stop that!” Aziraphale scolded the computer, but his faith had wavered in it. The computer saw the light at the end of the tunnel. The computer was now making a loud noise. 

“And how did you even plug in a mouse?” Then Crowley noticed the mouse was wireless. “It’s supposed to use a little dongle thing.”

“I just put in the batteries and started to use it.” Because that, again, is what Aziraphale expected to happen. “I thought the other thing was just some brand-marketing thing to plug into the computer to show off, but I didn’t have a spot for it so it’s somewhere in the desk.”

Crowley knew Aziraphale would not be able to find the dongle in the desk if asked to look for it. Then it hit him.

“You trust a wireless mouse but not a wireless phone?!” 

“That’s different!”

“No, it’s not.” Crowley tried to move the mouse around, but it now seemed like Aziraphale’s belief in the mouse was no longer working. The Demon knew he now had to strike while the iron was hot. “You’ve been torturing this poor computer.”

“I have not!” Yes, he has. “Its a modern piece of technology. Only 30 years old!”

“That’s too old for a computer! There is a reason why they make new ones every month.” he gestured wildly, beer spilling out of the bottle and landing with a sploosh on the keyboard. The computer thanked Crowley, because that is where Aziraphale thought the keyboard as a vital piece to making the computer run. The screen became bright green, then black and shut down. “Oops.”

“Crowley! You killed my computer!”

Instead of saying something like ‘I’m sorry’ or ‘That shouldn’t have happened.’ He responded with:

“It was euthanasia.” 

Aziraphale pushed the on button on the computer many times hoping it would work to turn it back on. But the computer had finally ascended to computer heaven, it was not coming back.

“You planned this!”

“Nope, spur of the moment. I’ll make it up to you, I’ll buy you a new one tomorrow.”

“I liked this one!” Aziraphale gestured wildly. “And y-you _killed_ it!” 

“Good thing you backup your data often.” Crowley sighed, knowing he was now going to have to console Aziraphale as he patted the blond on the back. “Think of it as a chance to learn something new, besides, we can make a day of it tomorrow. Go looking around the shops, have a meal, get snacks that are up to your standards and come back to set it all up.”

Aziraphale was sulking a little. “I kept that computer in good condition for 30 years.”

“You were doing the impossible with it.” Said the person who ran a car without buying any petrol for it in 50 years. 

“You’re going to unplug this one and plug the new one in.”

“Okay.” 

“And I pick where we eat.”

“Of course.”

“I should tell everyone that you killed my computer.” Aziraphale went over to Crowley’s laptop, and was glad they installed Discord onto the computer before going out to eat. Aziraphale was just going to use Crowley’s account as he went into the general chat for the Free Company Discord.

Crowley - SPROUT  
Its Ezra, Crowley just killed my computer.

Romaa: Keeping the floor down  
Wasn’t the computer older than Sheep?  
And just kept being modded?

Aziraphale had no idea what that meant, so he just agreed.

Crowley - SPROUT  
Yes, but still! I liked it.

Sheeple  
F

Crowley knocked over a pile of papers getting the computer off the desk and onto the floor. 

Sheeple  
So how long are you going to be out?

Crowley - SPROUT  
Crowley is buying me a new one tomorrow. 

Sabin: PUG-ilist  
F  
And that sucks for him. 

Crowley - SPROUT  
No, it doesn’t, it is bad for me because I didn’t want a new computer. And he offered. Because he spilled beer all over it.

More people were pressing F in chat now. Crowley hummed Chopin’s Funeral March as he walked into the back alley and unceremoniously- dumped the computer, keyboard, and mouse into a garbage can, scaring off some rats from a neatly arranged plate of bones, veggies and deli meats. 

Up in my AST  
I’ll find some online for you to look at, best bang for his buck and all. 

Crowley - SPROUT  
No need, I am just going to pick out the one I like best. Something nice and simple.

Sabin: PUG-ilist  
Remember, if you get a mac you’ll need to buy new codes for 14.  
And last I checked the mac client was still terrible. 

Crowley came back in and started to pick the papers up off the floor and neatly stacked them into a less crowded corner of the desk then sat down next to Aziraphale to look at the chat. 

“What does the ‘F’ mean?”

“It means to pay respects, I don’t understand why though.” 

“And I didn’t name myself Crowley Sprout.”

“I assume French renamed you that so people would know you are new.” Aziraphale still got a list of computers as Crowley took over the keyboard.

Crowley - SPROUT  
I’m not too worried about cost, I’ve been wanting to bring Ezra into the 21st century for a while now I get to do it. 

Sheeple  
Ain’t worried about cost? What’s your job?

Crowley paused, what could he say? Then decided to say something to rile up people.

Crowley - SPROUT  
Old Money and Stocks. 

This was not a lie, but it also wasn’t the truth. His old money was his own personally gained wealth and stocks were the Devil’s work anyway. Crowley could feel the envy seeping through from some of the people in the chat, it felt good. 

Crowley - SPROUT  
So why not spoil him anyways? 

“Oh no, you don’t.” Aziraphale started he could see what Crowley was doing. “You’re impressing no one. You’re just going to make people think we’re friends only because you buy things for me or something. Like some kept boy.”

French Fries  
You must like spoiling him. 

Crowley - SPROUT  
Love it. Real hobby of mine. 

Crowley was glad Aziraphale had meandered over to his desk to put the papers back in the spot they were originally. The chat was silent for a few moments as they processed it. Crowley could see that multiple people were typing. Then nothing. He wanted to know what they were going to say. More people were typing. Then nothing again. This was exciting. 

Crowley - SPROUT  
I’ll take a picture of what we get tomorrow.  
Finally, someone said something

French Fries  
Also take a picture of him, we’ve been bugging him for a picture for years but he said he didn’t have a way to upload it. And you too. For the pic channel.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A laptop is bought, and someone on discord rages.

Aziraphale may have picked the restaurant they went to, Crowley was picking the electronic stores they were going to visit. He was going to pick busy, commission-based places. The places where the workers were already dead inside and the encroaching holiday shopping sprees would be buzzing in the back of their minds. He picked ones where Christmas music was already playing in the background, where if the workers heard ‘Santa Baby’ play one more time before December hit, they would happily strangle themselves on the woefully outdated cords of the phones at their cash register.

He had a hand in stores playing Christmas music early and having it be the same few songs on repeat. 

Crowley had installed Discord on his phone the night before as he stayed at the bookshop and wanted to question Aziraphale on everything going on in the game, watching Aziraphale’s eyes light up as he explained Dalamud, Bahamut and Nael Darnus. He spoke of the Calamity and Louisoix. And Crowley was working on leveling conjurer once he got the chance so he could work on getting that unicorn. He had yet to do any guildhest or actual dungeons because he had been waiting for Aziraphale to do them with him. 

Which was why the pair was standing in a brightly lit store with workers that could smell blood in the water.

“Well, let’s get this done with,” Aziraphale said as he approached a display of computers looking them over, “Oh I like this one.” The Blond said pointing to a rose-gold laptop.

“That’s a Mac, you would have to buy new codes, remember?” 

Aziraphale frowned as he moved to the next one, which was also a Mac.

“Anything with an Apple on it is a No Go.”

“I thought you would like things with apples on it.” 

“Not for our purpose.” Aziraphale frown deepened as he followed the ginger to the computer aisle. 

“Sales-Person,” Crowley called out to the poor sod who was standing nearby, who was actually mildly surprised they were brought down to such a title. “We need some help.” The poor 20-something forced a smile onto their face, it didn’t reach their eyes. He worked at Burgerlord before getting this job, he was the master of soulless smiles. To Crowley he was prime bait.

“I’m looking for a computer.”

The Sales-Person thought to themselves that OBVIOUSLY he was looking for a computer, being in one of the many computer aisles of an electronics store. The worker looked Crowley up and down, trying to already figure out what this man wanted for a computer.

Aziraphale was tapping away on the keys of a computer nearby. 

“I can definitely help you with that.” The worker, who Crowley noticed was sadly named Eric, said. “Are you looking for yourself or someone else?”

“I am looking for him.” Crowley pointed his thumb at Aziraphale who had moved on to the next computer to tap away. “No Macs, just PCs.”

Eric looked at Aziraphale now, the man looked like he stepped out of the 1950s and was amazed at how far technology had come. The man probably would get scammed by a supposed Nigerian Prince and then believe the things people forwarded on Facebook about sharing an image to help a baby get heart surgery for free from the Doctor’s kindness if it got 100,000 shares. 

“We have some lovely Chromebooks.” Eric said moving to a row of thin laptops. Crowley watched as Eric pointed to one “It can access the internet, is updated often with virus protection, and has a built-in camera.” Aziraphale now had wandered over and looked at the chromebook. “And it’s only 200 pounds.” 

Eric watched as Aziraphale looked at Crowley. “This one would match everything I own.” Crowley held up a finger as if to try and silence Aziraphale. Eric assumed they were a couple. 

“That’s great and all, but how does it do with gaming?”

Eric assumed gaming on Facebook, he could imagine the blond man playing Farmville and Candy Crush, probably sending his partner invites to the games and getting upset when the more stylish of the two didn’t share the heart-surgery-baby image. 

“It does wonderful with browser gaming if you want you can try out a few-”

“No, Sales-Eric,” Crowley knew in his not-right-number-for-a-human-body-bones that anyone named Eric was made to be a chew toy for the rest of the universe, only beaten by one Newt Pulsifer. But if Newt was here, the store would probably explode, but that was neither here or there. “Actual computer games.”

Eric thought for a moment, maybe Sim City or Civilization. He moved to the slightly more powerful laptops. Crowley pulled out his cellphone to read the minimum specs needed for the MMO. He wanted Aziraphale to have the best possible computer for his gaming, future-proofed so to speak. Aziraphale had moved over to the mousepads on display.  
“Crowley, look at this mousepad, it has a kitten on it. I should really upgrade my mousepad.” 

Crowley knew the hint that Aziraphale was dropping, and he knew he was going to be also be buying a mousepad. Aziraphale expressing interest in the mousepad only helped Eric with his line of thinking. Eric’s smile stayed in place. 

“We could look at desktop computers-”

Crowley shook his head, he wanted to get Aziraphale a laptop. So they could sit right next to each other and play. Maybe Aziraphale would get into something and lean to the side and their shoulders would brush against one another, maybe Aziraphale would see something happening on Crowley’s screen and reach over to help. 

“Laptops.”

“Why a Laptop, dear?” Aziraphale questioned, “My old computer wasn’t one.” He was still holding onto the mousepad. 

“Travel.” Crowley stated. “We’re going to go see Bookgirl soon for her American holiday thing.” Crowley didn’t bother to remember the name of it, even though the two of them were there for the first Thanksgiving due to different missions in the area, but in his defense, it wasn’t called ‘Thanksgiving’ then in the context it is used as now. 

“Ah, you’re right. I was just assuming no one would be on that day.”

“They will get on after they are done eating.”

Eric watched the conversation as he led them to slightly better laptops. The redhead looked at the specs for one and then looked at his phone.

“Something better.” He commanded, Eric felt something rise up in him. He wanted his commission, yes. But he also loved technology, he thought it was amazing and beautiful. He didn’t want to sell a high-powered laptop to a middle-aged man who would probably just use it for flash games and email. 

“These laptops would serve all your needs, it can play games very well, I assure you.”

Aziraphale was now playing with mice (Crowley, look! This one has buttons on the side of it! And it changes colors!) Eric did not want to sell a gaming mouse to them, it would be a waste of money for them, he thought. They wouldn’t appreciate it, they wouldn’t use the buttons on the side. 

“Nope.” Crowley popped the P, “I want something better than these, future proof and all that.”   
“Then we would be getting into laptops made specifically for gaming.” The heavier laptops, the ones that could overpower desktops, with backlit keyboards and begged to be overclocked. He felt his Stepford smile waver just a little bit.

“Great, let’s head there. Come on, Angel.” Aziraphale handed Crowley the mousepad, and Crowley took it, looking at the ball of fur with bright yellow eyes amongst flowers. He then let his hand drop to the side. This mousepad was as good as bought. Aziraphale followed Eric the Salesman to the gaming laptops.

“Oh my, they have so many, and look, they have the glowing keyboards. How modern!” Aziraphale said delightedly as he pressed some buttons. He wasn’t getting the satisfying clack he would get with his old keyboard. He moved on to the next one and started to play around on it. Eric the Salesman didn’t notice how Aziraphale’s fingers landed on shift, a, w, and d instead of the home row. Instead, Eric was watching as Crowley just moved along the laptops looking at the price of them.

“As you can see, these laptops are very expensive, and made really for gamers on the go.” He said it in a tone of voice Crowley recognized. The tone that normally would be explaining why a book shouldn’t leave the shop. This only filled Crowley with _DETERMINATION_. Crowley then saw it he could tell the Sales-Eric didn’t want him to notice it. 

It was priced at well over 6000 pounds, the most expensive laptop they had. The keyboard could be detached, it had a 2080 GPU in it, it had g-synch and a screen that would run at 144hz. It was a laptop made purely for the flex, for those with more money than sense. 

It would kick the ass of Sims City, Civilization and any Facebook flash games. Eric had seen the benchmark scores for that thing. He could not let it go into some household that would not need it. 

“I want this one.” Crowley said, pointing at it cheekily. Aziraphale approached the demon and looked at the laptop. 

“I thought I got to pick.” he sighed, Eric hoped the blond would talk some sense into his partner. Even though selling it would earn him a pretty amount in revenue. 

Santa Baby played again over the store speakers. Eric felt himself descend a little deeper into madness. 

“Well, I was looking at stats and don’t you want a computer that will last you a long while?” 

“I do-”

“I am sure we can look at the mid-tier ones-” Eric started, interrupting Aziraphale. A mistake that he didn’t know he made, only cementing Crowley into buying _this_ particular model of laptop. 

“This one will be perfect for you, show the programmers some respect, and I’ll get you a new mouse and mic too with it.” Along with the mousepad. “Trust me, this computer will keep me off your back for a good long while. Look it even has colors everywhere. Sales-Eric-” Eric wished the redhead wouldn’t call him that. “Can I make the colors different? Besides rainbow?”

“Yes,” Eric said automatically before mentally swearing to himself, he didn’t want this lovely and expensive piece of technology to go to this older couple. He wanted it to go to a professional gamer, someone who would spend hours dedicating themselves to the art.

“See, you can make it match things. Like at Christmas make it Green and Red, springtime bright colors all that fun stuff.” Crowley gestured with his hand. Now deciding this was also going to be a flex of sorts for him and Aziraphale was going to be the one who reaped the benefits of it. The Angel could tell what was going on already, but, he couldn’t really thwart this wile. After all, Crowley was going to pay for it, perhaps he could give the Salesperson a blessing to counteract it? But then again, he knew the salespersons would be earning plenty of money off this sale if it went through- which would be good right? The young man was probably in school because even Aziraphale knew no one worked full time at these sorts of stores. “We’ll take this one, now back to the mice.” 

Eric couldn’t argue with this, could he? He needed this job, his manager would be mad that he was trying to stop a sale of this size. Maybe the card would be rejected? Eric watched as the redhead grabbed the most expensive headset he could find on his way to the mice. Eric felt his soul slowly trying to escape his body, he wanted to apologize to the technology. You didn’t need this for Farmville. Maybe he could make one last-ditch effort to save the computer.

“That laptop really can’t be rested on the lap, it needs a table or flat-”

“Don’t care, I want it.” 

“No need to be rude, Dear.”

“Laptop cases are over there. Go find one you want.” Crowley waved his hand over to the display. “What size will we need?”

“At least 18 inches.”

“Pick one that can hold all the accessories. For travel.” Crowley stated as Aziraphale wandered over to them, just accepting his fate at the moment. Maybe this Eric is glad they were going to spend so much money. It felt sinful, but he knew Crowley had the money for it and it couldn’t be any worse than the dinners they go to or the concerts they attend or when he spends 16.90 on a movie ticket right? 

He should get the best one, to make sure this investment was safe when they traveled. It seemed Crowley wanted to travel with him a lot. 

The Everclear cover of Santa Baby was playing now. That was thanks to Crowley. Who looked Eric in the eye as he grabbed the most expensive mouse he could find. Eric visibly shuddered. Crowley wondered if he could get Aziraphale to put up the kitten mousepad and go for one of the more expensive ones. He saw the angel finally picking out a case and taking it off the rack and heading over.

“Well, let’s go to the cash register,” Crowley said as he watched Eric carefully to make sure the salesman grabbed the laptop he picked out. Once they were alone Aziraphale looked at Crowley.

“What are you doing?”

“Padding his paycheck.”

“No, really.”

Crowley smiled, “He was trying to sell us a laptop that wouldn’t work for you, so I simply went to the logical conclusion and got one that would work for you. And a headset and mouse.”

“These are all very expensive.”

“I know right?” Crowley’s smile got even larger, he knew he was going to stir up more envy, perhaps it would be mid-tier envy. “This laptop will last you a long time and will look nice. It will be a conversation piece.” 

Aziraphale sighed, “If you must.”

“Oh, I must.” 

Another cover of Santa Baby played, there were people in the store now noticing it. 

“Just like this song?”

“Yes, I want people sick of it by the end of the day.”

Eric knew this cover of it wasn’t on the CD they played. How did it get there, nobody knew as he carried the laptop to the register as the pair put their items on the counter. As each item was scanned and the number on the til went up higher and higher he felt himself crumple in on himself. He mentally apologized to each item also, sorry they would never reach their full potential in his eyes. He silently told each item goodbye (except for the kitten mousepad. Now that one fit the blond) as he bagged them up. Crowley grabbed the bags and sauntered out of the store. 

\---

Crowley - SPROUT  
[Haul.jpg uploaded. It is of everything neatly set out on Aziraphale’s desk with the mousepad taking center stage.]  
Now I got to set it up for him per our agreement. 

Crowley watched as several people typed at once. Then nothing. Then he saw that In Your AST was typing.

In Your AST  
THATS MORE THAN MY RENT FOR MOST OF THE YEAR. 

Crowley smirked as Aziraphale frowned at him. “You wanted this to happen, didn’t you?”

“Yup.”

Crowley - SPROUT   
[Selfie.jpg uploaded. It is a picture of Crowley giving the camera a shit-eating grin while still looking his best.]  
Its Me. 

In Your AST  
NO. 

French Fries  
Oh you’re handsome. 

Romaa: Keeping the floor down  
Very handsome. You could model. 

In Your AST  
NO. NOT FAIR. 

Crowley could feel all those negative emotions coming from In Your AST And a little bit of lust from French Fries and Romaa. 

Crowley - SPROUT  
[Angel.jpg. A picture of Aziraphale he took a few months back of him petting a puppy and smiling that brighter than the sun smile.]  
Ezra.

In Your AST  
WHAT THE FUCK. NO. 

Romaa: Keeping the floor down  
Oh, he is pretty. 

Sheeple  
He is a Targaryen isn’t he?  
FIRE AND BLOOD

In Your AST  
Life isn’t fair and all but FUCK ME. 

French Fries  
Dat smile. Frembshape. Looks like an Angel, Talks like an Angel. 

In Your AST  
WHAT GODS DID YOU TWO FUCK WELL ENOUGH IN A PAST LIFE TO BE YOU TWO?

Crowley uploaded another picture that showed Aziraphale’s eyes in a different light, where instead of clear blue they looked more green.

In Your AST  
HE IS A GODDAMNED MARY SUE. 

Aziraphale looked at the pictures Crowley was uploading. “You’re just trying to stir trouble, aren’t you?” 

French Fries  
Centralized Heterochromia? 

In Your AST  
I AM SIDE CHARACTER IN A FANFIC AREN’T I? YOU TWO ARE THE LUCKY MAIN CHARACTERS AND I AM JUST A SIDE CHARACTER. EITHER THE SHIT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU TWO ALREADY AND THIS IS THE AFTER STORY OR SOMETHING BAD IS GOING TO HAPPEN.

Sheeple  
Caps my friend. 

Crowley was cackling, this was worth it. The wrath and envy were amazing and he would bet money that In Your AST was popping a rage boner.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking forever with this very short chapter, I have had a bit of writer's block!

“I am sure things will get better for her now that she is away from those assholes.” Crowley watched as a character was left alone on screen from the rest of her group. He could imagine Aziraphale telling this Edda chick that everything would be okay, and she would find new love and new friends and everything would be wonderful for her. 

Aziraphale was silent as Crowley looked over at him.

“What?” 

“Nothing, dear.”

“No, you’re being silent, something else happens to her doesn’t it?” Crowley said accusingly.

“You know, I don’t like spoilers or spoiling.”

“What happens to her!”

“You’ll find out when you unlock a hard mode dungeon and one other quest, which I am not telling you so you don’t do it out of order.” Aziraphale was working on his Palace of the Dead run. “Which happens at level 50.”

Crowley groaned, tempted to just go onto the Wikipedia and find out what happens. But then again, he imagined Aziraphale would be very cross with him if he did that. 

“At least I am finally getting into a story finally. Although I still feel like a delivery boy.”

“Well, they want to make sure you know how to play the game.” Crowley bristled at that. 

“I know how to play the game, you showed me.”

“Not everyone has someone to show them what to do,” Aziraphale said, getting a monster to chase him to an empty area on the screen. “So, it is do this, go there, explore, run dungeons.”

“I still have yet to get a title.” Crowley bemoaned, “You said I would get one by doing things in-game.” Aziraphale frowned for a moment. “How many commendations do you have?” 

Crowley went to the screen that listed them. “12.”

“You have a title.”

“I do?”

Aziraphale made it to a glowing pillar in the game and stood on it as he moved a little to Crowley’s laptop and started to pull up a window, then he saw it a little drop-down menu.

There it was.

_The Heart of the Party_

Crowley remembered that was the title Aziraphale liked because he thought it was sweet. “All I had to do was get 12 commendations?”

“10. And yes.” 

Crowley looked at his character name, that was too easy of a title. He wanted a better one. 

“So, this is a title everyone has.”

“Yes, but it is a good title, it shows you’re off to a good start!” 

It was a participation trophy. 

“I want a better title.”

“What sort of title do you want?” Aziraphale questioned, sounding much like a parent trying to get a child to pick out a toy.

“How did you get your title? Heal a lot of people?” Crowley hated healing from the few guildhests he had done as a conjurer.

“Oh, goodness no. I got that title from PvP.”

A blank stare.

“Player versus player, everything you have been doing is player versus environment.” 

“And?”

“Sometimes, when I am feeling a bit rowdy for a fight, I do PvP.”

Well, that was understandable, Aziraphale had chosen to be soft, but he was still a soldier created during the war. It was probably part of his programming, to just sometimes to want to pick up a weapon and beat something up. 

“With this title I got from dispatching 5000 people in Frontlines.” 

A pause, the title had nothing to do with healing at all. 

“So this title tells everyone your a serial killer in this player versus player thing? Do you have any other titles like that?”

“Yes, one that came from dispatching 5000 people in The Feast, another PvP thing.”

Crowley watched as Aziraphale started to work on this level in the Palace of the Dead. “When did you have time to do that?”

“Well, the Hand of Mercy was easy to do before they changed how Summoner was so I just went in and grinded it for a while.”

Crowley watched as Aziraphale snuck past a monster on the screen. “And how does that improve people’s lives, Angel? How did you write that off? Tell the upper management that it teaches patience? Humility?” 

“I didn’t write it off, I owned it. I still own it, because I wear the title.” Aziraphale gestured to the screen. “Once you reach level 30, I can help you with PvP.”

Crowley opened up Party Finder in the game, he noticed there were ‘farms’ going on, and something called an ‘Eternal Bonding’.

“What’s an Eternal Bonding?” Crowley questioned as he clicked on the party summary. 

“It’s an in-game marriage. You buy a package from the cash-shop and you get clothes, minions and a Chocobo if you buy the packages that actually cost money.” 

Crowley was curious to what it was as he decided to try and go to the marriage thing. His character left Gridania and started on the trek to this sanctum thing. 

“Are you e-married to someone?”

“No.” Aziraphale sighed as he killed another monster. “I would want to do it with someone I have a deep connection to instead of someone I don’t speak to often. Although I have been proposed to a few times.”

“Really now? By who?” He bet French Fries.

“Just friends in various linkshells, I tell them I am waiting for a certain person.” 

A certain person. Crowley’s mind went wild with ideas, as he wondered if it was him Aziraphale was waiting for. After all, he did want Crowley to join the game even though he never told him. He entered the Bramble Patch from the Hawthorne Hut. 

“Do you get any other perks besides clothes and a chicken?”

“Yes, you can teleport to your partner if you’re attuned to the Aetheryte they are closest to.” 

“This person wants people to come to their wedding, I am going to it.”

“Maybe you’ll get a minion or two from it!” Aziraphale said happily, “At least your glamour looks decent enough for a wedding.”

Crowley was so happy when he could finally dye and change what his character wore.

“Who do you want to get Bonded to, Angel?” Crowley kept his eyes on the screen, Aziraphale was silent.

“Someone who is always there for me, that I can spend the rest of my in-game life with, a person I am very close to.”

_’I am that person.’_ Crowley’s brain supplied. 

“Do friends get bonded?”

“Oh yes, definitely.” 

There was a pregnant pause as the only sounds in the room came from the two laptops.

“Then bond with me.” Crowley broke the silence. “We can get the Chocobo and everything.” It may have been a pretend wedding, but it would still be nice. To say in some form that Aziraphale was his husband. 

“You will have to get to level 50 to do the quest and keep on playing. I don’t want to bond with someone who is never on.”

“Sure. I can do that. I’m having fun. Having all the fun in the world, going to master this game 100 percent. Get a fancy title, get the unicorn and all. Besides, we’re on our own side, it’s already like we’re eternally bonded anyways.”

Eyes still on their respective screens, both felt heat rising to their cheeks hoping the other didn’t see it. 

“Then yes, I will.” 

Crowley felt his heart jump a little as he finally made it to the wedding venue in-game. He talked to the person standing outside who traded him the invite to the wedding and some sparklers.

“I can make the rings for it,” Aziraphale commented making it to the next glowing pillar. “It’s a low-level Goldsmith craft.”

“I’ll make the rings, I need to level some crafters.” Crowley decided, “So, it’s bound to come up or something.”

“How thoughtful.” 

Then like so many times in their 6,000 year long relationship, everything lulled into silence.


End file.
